Over years and much failing I found
myself saving me and my man from lots of arguing and fighting at
times I was super mad or extremely sad by doing one simple thing.
I
am a writing drawn person and sometimes I prefer expressing my emotions
by text messages because I think I can plan my points better. Feel free
to judge me and compare me to a young teenager, I'll be flattered :)
So
you can guess how a text message can look like if my emotions tend to
be on the negative side, like furious or disappointed. Well, it's much
worse and much more characters than you can imagine.
But with time
passing by, I used text messages to direct all my negative feelings and
lead them out of my relationship. This was helpful especially in
occasions when I wanted to tell him something that I knew I'd regret
later for a hundred reasons, but I couldn't help but let it out of me.
This way I started to write long, evil and ugly text messages and never
press the send button, just save them to draft folder. Then calmness
would come upon me and just like that my heart's rate would go back to normal.
Did
you get the trick? I only needed to let the words out of me, like
writing on your diary with strong pen strokes and tear drops on ink.
Most of the times I'd erase the text right after some minutes, an hour
or two and the longest would be the day after. Sometimes I'd go over and
read every word again, a few times I'd still agree with myself but mostly
I'd admit I was so overreacting in every word.
Let's wish it's not needed
often, but I feel a bit more secure and mature (such a paradox, I know)
since I figured out how to use this small magic when things aren't smooth.
What
do you think of this? Could it be useful for you or you prefer
unlimited face to face talk, no matter how bad things go after you throw
some harsh words?
Do you consider
the other one's feelings and wait until your head is clear to think
about their side of the story, or do you put yourself first at the
moment and follow your angry/sad heart?
I am curious to read all your trusted anger management tips now that you know mine :)
| Love, Lisa |
That's a pretty good idea, just this week I was watching a reality show and a shrink was telling her client same thing, write down whatever you're feeling but don't hit the send button immediately. So I guess when you hear more than once same thing it must be true. Worth trying for sure, Jona
ReplyDeleteHa! Such a coincidence :) And no shrink told me that, I swear I had to learn the hard way. Try it yourself and you will see how liberating it is, despite being totally aware of the trick ;)
DeleteThanks for passing by!
Hehe, I often find myself doing the same thing! Well, I still send what I write most of the times but it helps reading it over a few times before sending just to make it a bit kinder and to the point. It's a nice thing to have some written words as a reminder from now and then!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not on this alone girl :)...My man says written words hurt more because he can read them again and again, so he has made his rule and delete cruel messages from me. But sometimes you need some truths told carefully and maybe you can be better towards yourself and your partner....Howeeever, you need to check twice anytime, just to be sure ;)
Delete