Over years and much failing I found myself saving me and my man from lots of arguing and fighting at times I was super mad or extremely sad by doing one simple thing.
I am a writing drawn person and sometimes I prefer expressing my emotions by text messages because I think I can plan my points better. Feel free to judge me and compare me to a young teenager, I'll be flattered :)
So you can guess how a text message can look like if my emotions tend to be on the negative side, like furious or disappointed. Well, it's much worse and much more characters than you can imagine.
But with time passing by, I used text messages to direct all my negative feelings and lead them out of my relationship. This was helpful especially in occasions when I wanted to tell him something that I knew I'd regret later for a hundred reasons, but I couldn't help but let it out of me. This way I started to write long, evil and ugly text messages and never press the send button, just save them to draft folder. Then calmness would come upon me and just like that my heart's rate would go back to normal.
Did you get the trick? I only needed to let the words out of me, like writing on your diary with strong pen strokes and tear drops on ink. Most of the times I'd erase the text right after some minutes, an hour or two and the longest would be the day after. Sometimes I'd go over and read every word again, a few times I'd still agree with myself but mostly I'd admit I was so overreacting in every word.
Let's wish it's not needed often, but I feel a bit more secure and mature (such a paradox, I know) since I figured out how to use this small magic when things aren't smooth.
What do you think of this? Could it be useful for you or you prefer unlimited face to face talk, no matter how bad things go after you throw some harsh words?
Do you consider the other one's feelings and wait until your head is clear to think about their side of the story, or do you put yourself first at the moment and follow your angry/sad heart?
I am curious to read all your trusted anger management tips now that you know mine :)
| Love, Lisa |