Me vs. Holidays - A 24 years old journey

I have sweet and strangely a bit vague memories of my holidays until I was 12. My teacher always counted on my when it came to bring craft supplies, build colorful paper garlands, bring ornaments from home and send postcards to everyone I knew their name at school. Of course I looked forward to the holidays break, that I'd spend creating cookies and sweets with dough and beads, and dressing my dolls in festive clothes. The tree decoration was a favorite part of mine too. Everything felt cozy and merry, even if my family didn't have crazy traditions. To be sincere I didn't enjoy the real holidays, like Christmas, when we used to have a family lunch and nothing more special or the New Year's Eve because I didn't like gathering with my huge father's family every year and be forced to stay at someone's small house for so many people for so many hours. So I assume everything I loved about was the period in between the big days.

Then comes the period I was 14 - 18, when I moved to the capital city of my country, a huge city for me, where most people consider all holidays an opportunity to go out in the evening, go to clubs and drink until the morning, be it Christmas, Easter, New Year, or any other religious or cultural one. The overall atmosphere used to be very poor, nothing close to big European cities and the only thing reminding the season were the interior decorations and the lights on people's balconies. I am sure I wasn't crazy for the holidays that period.

When I was 19, I don't know if the city got more attitude, if people were gifted with the holidays' real spirit, or if it just me that changed drastically. Suddenly I got back my enthusiasm, my joy, I was looking forward to the season and not only the break filled with a hundred university projects to finish. The little kid spirit inside me was triumphing and multiplied as I believe I started to enjoy everything as if I were a little kid and I was celebrating for all those holidays I let go without fully enjoying.

Then I discovered blogging and I became addicted. It was 3 years and a few months before this season and it was enough to change my life. I remember that first year, I was so much into browsing hundreds and thousands of decorating ideas and gift options. Oh my, I was in creativity heaven. Believe me, I was feeling like those kids in the movies, discovering a secret world where they felt they belonged. Little did I know blogs would take away my holidays' joy that year. I spent all days and all hours searching and saving and laughing and opening my eyes with joy and I somehow did nothing of what I intended to. No decorations in my room, no projects accomplished, no special places visited. Maybe only gifts were okay. I even remember how I decided I must paint my toes with red polish at 23:30 and I was late to leave the house. So I missed the 00:00 kiss with my boyfriend who was waiting for me alone at the middle of the street. I feel like crying when I remind this, but it was just to let you know how easy it was to get into the trap of doing everything perfect and you end up not doing what you should but somehow you decide something stupid is the right thing to do.
The following year was better and last year was the best until now. Our house was more decorated than ever and this thanks to my mother too. She would decorate the whole building if she could, and I am not kidding :) I decorated, styled and photographed my festive room, hanged lights everywhere and almost nothing was missing to have a perfect holiday season. I was still into blogs, daily. But the magic inside me won, I guess. I was able to feel the spirit very early, in a foggy and cloudy early November day (maybe it was late October, I don't quite remember, really). My car music immediately changed to classics, Elvis, Bubble and children songs.

This year I am still reading blogs daily and moreover I have my own blog. I don't know what the holidays will bring me. But the spirit has hit me long time ago :) I had that "first cloudy day feeling" a month or so ago, I have listened to cheering songs a couple of times now and of course I clap my hands like a 5 years old whenever I see a decorated window or store and I am not ashamed because I am 24. My mother is looking for a new tree after having the same for many years. Decorating our house is the second thing on the list and bringing out the joyful cd-s from last years comes next.

I will let you know how it goes, whether tricky blogs and online shopping or my inner holidays spirit and willingness to enjoy the moment wins this year :) Thank you for reading this far!

I'd be thrilled to read your stories of how your attitude has changed or not towards the end of the year holidays. Do you enjoy them or are you more stressed than happy? Do you wish you were kids again to spend carefree magical days or do you only have adult memories of the holidays?

| Love, Lisa |