Wednesday, October 10, 2012

A(nother) little secret about me

After I read lovely Mara's post and left a long comment under it, I realized it was something worth sharing. It might be ordinary, small, big, personal or nothing special, 
but I am simply revealing a lesson of my late life.
To most of us relationships are difficult for a thousand different reasons, love, friendship and family ones. As much as I love the ones around me and want to surround them with affection, warm words, support and hugs and kisses, sometimes things get crazy, different to all I wish, often because of one's careless actions or words and more often because we take everything for granted 
(don't you dare call this a cliche - TEST : Did you do wonderful things to bring you joy today? 
I bet you didn't because you assume there is always a tomorrow you count on).

The secret I want you to know today is a fairly simple one. When in debate's heat or on top of anger, when feeling misunderstood, ready to quit, or when hurt someone you love, just stop and think : 
What if something terrible happens to her/him/them tomorrow? 
How would I feel about this actual moment? Would it be still important? 
I am sure most of the time it won't be that important and all you want to do is ask for forgiveness or forgive the other one, give a hug and say "I love you".

I have always been very sensitive and I have ready tears for every occasion (anger, sadness, joy, sympathy, pity, death, a romantic movie, a dramatic movie, a children movie and the list goes on and on) but to push the above exercise to the limits, I often go extreme and if someone close to me has told me something that upsets or did something that hurt me, I imagine the day I won't have the person in my life, and along with the tears bursting in my eyes comes forgiveness, peace, and a need to return to basics, to what's more important. 

While all reactions are human and we have all the right to argue, to scream, to curse, to offend, to hurt someone or never forget and forgive, we also have the choice to focus on positive thoughts and behaviors. It might not work for serious cases or big decisions, but it certainly helps you understand what is more important to you, being proud and mean and short sighted or letting love conquer it all. Perhaps you can try it and tell me if it helps. 
I am not an expert, but I wish practice makes me one :)
| Love, Lisa |


  1. Te lexoja kete post ishte menyra me e mire per te nisur diten! I vertete ne cdo fjale, ne cdo germe. E mendoj njesoj si ty, edhe pse ndryshe nga ty, une shpesh nuk e kam forcen ta kaloj inatin, apo merzine :( Dhe ashtu si edhe ti, shperthej ne lot per thuajse cdo gje. Shpesh habitem edhe vete, them nga dalin kaq shume lot :P Gjithesesi une e kam nje forme kompensimi, kur jam e merzitur, stresuar, nervozuar, ne vend qe te bertas, qaj. Keshtu qe edhe nuk i bej keq njeriu, edhe vete clirohem. Une i adhuroj keto postet e tua dhe me vjen cudi perse nuk ke studiuar per psikologji, sepse ke nje aftesi te papare qe vetem me ane te nje shkrimi t'i besh njerezit te ndihem mire :)

    1. Ska gje me te mire kur shikoj se dikush fillon diten me ato qe shkruaj une dhe per me teper ndihet mire. Mundohem te shkruaj gjera te verteta, edhe pse ndonjehere jane shume personale dhe s'mund te presesh te ndihen te gjithe si ty. Por ia vlen kur lexon komente te tilla :)
      Ne fakt ma kane vene shume njerez ne dukje kete aspektin e psikologjise, sidomos ne lidhje me menyren si shkruaj. Kam dashur te studioj Psikologji kur kam qene ne gjimnaz, por ndryshova mendje sepse doja dicka me gjitheperfshirese, te permbante dhe art brenda dhe zgjodha Arkitekturen & Dizajnin :)
      Por ende vazhdoj te kem deshiren qe "kur te rritem" te frymezoj gjithmone njerezit, ti bej te ndihen mire dhe t'iu bej shume dhurata :)


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